Nurse

I've never known someone for such a short period of a time who has been able to hurt me so much.
Not so very long ago, I had so much hope and he seemed to also. How did everything change so fast? Was it the magic of the holidays? Was it because we are from two different worlds? What is something I said or did? Or was he just pretending from the beginning?

There were others whom I blew off just to spend more time with him. Maybe that was my mistake, I was too open, too eager--but he made me feel that for once I could be myself, and that it would be okay, and I thought I'd finally met the man who deserved my love--he works so hard and seems to care so much about others... I guess I was too nice too soon, but I really don't know how else to be.

Everyone keeps telling me that because of what an jerk he was at the end, he must've been that way deep down all along and that it's all for the best. And I am not a stupid girl, so intellectually I know that they must be right. But my heart is having so much trouble ignoring my brain as I return to sleeping alone.

And so here I am again and I'm afraid.