I Love Him. I Hate Him.

Sometimes I feel like he never really wanted me, that he was always waiting for someone better to come along, keeping me on the backburner so he'd never feel unwanted or alone.

So then why did he ever tell me that you loved me? I should have known. And when she came along, he kept her a secret, midleading me, not even allowing a healthy transition, and *suddenly*--he's engaged?

Sometimes, I feel like he took all the best parts of me, of us, and gave them to her, this girl, alas, 7 years younger than I.

I tell myself that he's the weak one, but then, why does he seem so happy, and I am the one left hurting and alone?